How Far Will I Go?
Why I chose to be an artist + my thoughts on nepotism
I always get asked the question, “why modeling?”
Why indeed, I ask myself that a lot too.
In choosing modeling, I decided on one of the most ruthless, expensive, competitive industries to make a livelihood out of. To some degree, I set these standards myself. The work is highly subjective and specialized. It has little in ways of longevity, and success belongs only to a select eschlon that can endure its trials or just get plain lucky. The travel is sporadic, the outfits are sparkly, the parties are exclusive; many look on in envy. Call it fame, call it fool’s gold, call it a Faustian bargain. Call it whatever you want.
The truth about life is that so often it is a topsy-turvy limbo land of chance encounters mixed with one or two or 72 uncertain leaps into the careers we “choose.” My own story of how I came to be a multi-hyphenate story-teller, high-fashion model, and honorary ice-cream-recipe developer (I can’t disclose more, I signed an NDA, but this is indeed true) is full of random pivots within my own life.
When people ask me why I chose modeling, the answer never seems to satisfy — unless I lie. A can answer is to say, “I always dreamed of this!” or “People always told me I should.” And though that is true, it’s not the full truth. The truth is I dreamt of a world far beyond what lay in front of me in my girlhood room and modeling was the key to unlocking it all.
Public perception of modeling is wrapped up in the glamorous selves that we are packaged, projected and sold — no quite literally, when any model is submitted for a job they are placed in what is called a ‘package’ along with other models that fit the criteria the client is looking for. Too often boys and girls and non-binaries come in with unbridled optimism that they are special and the job is harmless — just mere mortals chasing a dream, and dreams come true, our best interests will always be prioritized….!
No one gets into this business because they’re shy; they’re here because they want to be/feel seen. They can stand on stage, or in front of a crowd, have their picture taken, receive applause, fit an idealized self, genuinely do a good job and get fulfillment, call it a wrap, take the money and move on. Lather, rinse, repeat. They endure the unrealistic travel schedules and work hours because it’s faaaaasssshion darling — make it work, smile right through it, scream when no one is around. Don’t even dare complain. Why? Because, “a million girls would kill for this job.”